Recently I spoke with a friend of mine who is experiencing intense grief due to a tragic loss of a beloved. I too have had many losses this year. More than most people experience in a life time let alone a year., so I have been told. My losses may not be as great as my friend’s loss, but I am finding that grief can be a relative term. In talking about ways to cope with grief through distractions, the thought came to me that we never lose that grief. I used to think that when that horrible tearing pain of grief ended I would be able to move forward. And until that happened, I would seek distractions to help me through the grief. The reality is that the hole that grief bores in our heart stays and morphs through time.
A thought popped into my brain about the need for distractions to walk through grief. Allowing the quest to find beauty in the midst of my grief becomes my distraction. Allow living abundantly however that may look for me, be my distraction to grief. As heavy laden my heart, may I quest to find beauty again. And I am finding that in the midst of discovering beauty, I might cry. Crying is the pressure valve to my heart-a sacred act of worship.Tears are treasured by the Creator.And they can help, even but for a brief moment to wipe the scales of grief from my eyes.
I mustn't fight grief; rather embrace the searing pain of loss that makes beauty even more brilliant and precious when discovered. Beauty is beyond the darkness. Like faith, beauty exists. It is a part of the focus when I open my eyes, even just a wee peep to see the harsh light of my fractured, fragmented brokenness, that becomes the beautiful stained glass mosaic of my life. Living is previous, fragile, painful, bittersweet, and beautiful. I am discovering all at the same time.
Grief cannot be avoided. Grief is an inevitable part of life. I cannot run from it, I cannot hide from it. From the time we are born, we are dying. It is an undeniable and ever present cycle of life. And just as the four seasons of life it has its’ place. Fall is necessary for death and decay to nourish new life. Oh, the brilliant colors of Fall. Winter is a time of rest and the killing of harmful germs amidst the frigid sparkly blue cold of newly fallen snows that echo the quiet stillness of the earth. The Spring that brings renewal-new life-abundant life. The trickling of melting winter that heralds in the first peep of tender new life springing up through the thaw. Then comes the hot searing sun of Summer. A time to play, explore and start the harvest for the coming winter.
We all deal with grief differently. No one can tell us how we should dance to the tune of grief. It is a journey that is as individual as our thumbprints. Grief is a dance partner that steps on our toes when we least expect it to happen. Grief is the sucker punch of life that takes our breath away. Beauty is the inhale of living.
I have come to realize that we basically are holding our breaths in life. When a babe is born, the first gulp of breath is a great lusty inhale. And the last breath of earthly life is an exhale that can be as lengthy, agonizing or as suddenly as it takes to leave our bodies.
Holding my breath is exhausting at best and deadly, as grief can be. Those moments between breaths, like those moments between thoughts are where peace abides-Divine love.
BREATHE---BREATHE DEEPLY---BREATHE IN ABUNDANCE---BREATHE DIVINE LOVE
Namaste and Abundant Blessings---